I says, gooooood morning , sunshine!!!!!!!!!!!
do you know what a fool is? I say, do you know what a fool is?!
hey you, wake up! I askes you, DO-YOU-KNOW-WHAT-A-FOOL-IS???????
TELL NO LIE NOW! You’ve known one long enough!
I is a fool!
And do you know why?
I say DO YOU KNOW WHY???
You listen here, cuz I’ma share a little story with you this morning.
I say, you shut down, which don’t mean turn your computer off. It mean sit down and shut up.
I’m not one given to rudeness either, but the L-rd done ask it, and I tells it like it is.
I say, I got a story to share this morning.
Are you ready?
Don’t you give no answer, till you know what the answer is!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, N-O!
I say, I am the world’s BIGGEST FAILURE, ever born out the womb of woman…
Now, hush! Don’t stop me, nor interupt!
I say, I am the lowliest, most unworthy soul, ever begotten this day, and have been all my days under heaven…
I owe the light on my path and the time of day to you all, goyim gems, what’s a shinin’ in the earth, day and night!
Do you know, I failed every grade in school, from 1 through 12, and beyond? I say do you know, I dun failed them all?!
Historically unprepared for class! So they say!
But I were prepared every day!!!
THat is the Truth!
And do you know why?
I says, do you know WHY?
I done told you, I got a story to tell and I am telling it!
WHen I was young, my momma sent me to Sunday school.
I say, when I was young, a small little turd like child, beggin’ door to door for cookies and milk…
Do you know, she took me , she did not know what to do with this disgraceful child! and who could blame her?!
Behold the man I am today, none but a magnification, of that little turd of a child. a complete failure in the eyes of all mankind!
But, I say my momma, did not knows what to do, so she took me and drop me off at the Sunday school! and left me there with the lights of the world.
And they all shone like the stars of night, during the day. And their light was upon me, and I hid! I say, I hid! disgraceful child, I was! I hid…in the skirts of the teacher of the Sunday school…
And the teacher in the sunday school, the l-rd bless her!
Even now, wherever she is, I do not know, you understand? people come and go in our lives, and I do not know where she be. Mayhap, the l-rd took her home to hisself…
Such would be a blessing among my cursed generation…
But I mean to say, this teacher taught me a lesson. I say this teacher taught me how to fail!
G-d bless this woman!!!
Whereever she be, cuz like I say, I do not know! But the answer is- Jesus Christ!
Did you hear what I say???!!!!
The answer is….JESUS CHRIST!
There aint no other…
This teacher asks us all, little children, among whom, I were the filthiest, most unworthy of all….a group of maybe twelve, more likely, thirteen childs in all…
She got us all together in a small circle, maybe it were a semi-circle, I can’t recall, and it does not matter…I is ignorant in every category of learnin’…
I say, she asks us the question, and I do not remember what the question is!
I say, I do not know what the question were! Do you hear me this day?!
The question is unknown!
But she look around, at everyone of us, and I do not remember what she look like, for I saw G-d only that day!
And she said to each of us, and all of us together. "The answer is, JESUS CHRIST!"
She done forgot what the question was her own self!
It don’t matter, she say, the answer is JESUS CHRIST!
No matter what the question be, the answer is always, JESUS CHRIST!
Now, what say ye, ye blind and deaf, whom the L-RD, this very day, hath given sight and hearing?
I say, what says ye, ye gems of the world? Ye gems, shining brightly in this here filthy, G-d forsaken world????
Don’t ye say a blasphemous ‘nother word, before you speak that name, which is above all names!
That had better be your answer to every question, this day and every day, until the very last of them, in your G-d given life!
Do you understand?!
Praise ye, the L-RD!
What your answer?
So, I say, I left that day, and my mother must have seen something in me, and knew I’d been affected…
I must have started to glow a bit, and I can’t remember why. Could be, she did not approve of a child, who knew more than she…
But she withdrew me from the Sunday school!
I say, G-d forgive her, this day. For she withdrew, this ignorant child, from the Sunday School in which he learned the only lesson, I say, in whose hallowed halls, he done learned the only tarned thing, he would ever learn, in his whole life long!
Does ye hear me now????!!!
A sad day it were…
But there were many such and sadder still to follow in my life, as unworthy of mention and unremarkable of reason, as it may be.
I went to school the following day, I think I were in the third or fourth grade, and we had a lesson, or state approved test for the betterment and improvement of our welfare as little investments in the world…
I do not remember what category or subject the test was in, it was third or fourth grade, by cookie! and I should not, at my advanced age, be expected to recall such, and I don’t! But I took a test! 30 odd random questions, of scholastic pre-arranged knowledge so-called, seeking inquiries into the mind of this ignorant child, who had never read a book in his life, and were not informed by any other source than the Sesame Street and the cultural imaginings of his little world about him….I say, 30 odd question, I do not know that exact number. None too many for children with the attention spans of walnuts….the sort Mommas place in cookies, and serve with milk!
And Now, I say I did not not know Jack!
DO YOU HEAR ME?! I DID NOT KNOW JACK!!!
But I had me one answer to give to each and every question from that day on…
And so I gave It, 30 odd times, you understand, I do not know that exact number, and it does not matter.
The answer I gave to each and every question, from "What is 1+1?" to "To what is the name of Dick and Jane’s doggie?" to "Under whose tutelage were the good Dr. Jung inspired and taught in the field of Psychiatry/Psychology?"
I say, this and every test I ever took thereafter, were the quickest test I done ever took!
I was proud! I was always the first to finish my tests!
My 30 odd answers were all identical and correct no matter what them teachers said, and no matter how many times they failed me and kept me back…
The answer was, is and are, JESUS CHRIST!
Praise the L-RD! Praise ye, the L-RD!
Aint no other answer in all Creation, than Jesus Christ!
True story, ladies and gentlemen…
And now, I a man of 30 add years of testing, toiling and transgressing. I say transgressing! Woe be unto me, I am a sinner!!!! A failure, beyond all imaginings and claims to the office of the same! I am a FAILURE, in the eyes of all that behold, my ignorant self!
But blessed be that teacher, whose whereabouts, I know not! I may only hope and pray she done beat me to Heaven!
I have the answer still…
Worthless fool that I am…I have the only answer, I’ll ever need!
Boker tov. The L-RD be with you this day and all through the year.
Even the Blessed Father of Our L-rd and Answer most worthy, Jesus Christ.
And I rest my case…