I’m having some difficulties in my personal life-new living arrangements, past and current estrangements, and trepidatious engagements that leave me feeling more and more heartbroken and hopeless, as far as my relationships in and with the world. Yet, miraculously, the L-RD continues faithful and His Grace and Mercy ever renew what little strength and will I have left to fight and strive with. Mine enemy has seen fit to bankrupt me, in, as usual, the very cunningest of manners, so that I am without home, finance, etc. and it all seems to be my fault. It’s not. I wont go into detail, as I do not wish to anger my enemy who obviously has the upper hand and may choose to make matters worse for me than he/she already has…
The L-RD upholds me in my integrity, which is rock solid.
At any rate, currently surrounded by mostly gentiles, who appreciate Christmas for the drinkfest it is to America. I have nevertheless been encouraged by many of the same and their interest in Hanukkah and my celebrating it. A difficult holiday for many who might be more interested in a Hellenistic sort of society to participate in. Difficult too is letting go of the sentimental nuances of the popular Christmas festivities.
In doing so, we find the deep and richly meaningful religion in the Hanukkah celebration and, by comparison, the cheap, tawdriness of the Xmas pangeant comes painfully into focus. But there is hope for both, in coming together, and learning and being instructed by the celebration rather than inebriated into a lackadaisical stupor of insulting, vain apathy and preterition.
The L-rd deserves better.
I’ve thrown myself into constant prayer and work, of a physical sort. Lots of walking, picking up trash along the roadsides, etc. I feel like a prisoner, and I know rightly, I may as well be, and as if I work on a one man chain gang. But it’s enjoyable and permits me an escape from all this.
Nevertheless, to-day I did do a little work on one of my web journals. My greatestjournal.com had me confused. I guess they deleted some of my very first entries…and so I had to do a search for them on my computer and I’ve decided to transfer them to my livejournal instead, which is a journal I hardly ever use. Unfortunately, it is as I predicted and during my "lock-up," my enemy saw fit to go through all my computer files and corrupt and delete what he/she saw fit to. Fortunately, he overlooked some and verily, these reveal his/her essence.
Give it a look over if you wish…as I reread some of the "lost posts" I’ve added a bit here and there that may be of interest. Difficult work for one who is completely computer illiterate and really loathes computers altogether.
Well, I’m up way past my bedtime this evening, so I will bid you all a goodnite and a very Happy Hanukkah and Holidays to all.